i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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