We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
