didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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