I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
