I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
