Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
