So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
