Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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