MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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