If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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