Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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