I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
