You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
