I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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