Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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