come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
