i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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