I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
