If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
