I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
