Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
