Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
