sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
