So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
