so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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