dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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