Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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