Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
