hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just cropdusted the office
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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