If that was your dad, he is hot
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
