I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
