Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
