remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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