Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize