I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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