Me too!
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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