i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
