I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
