we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Life without a bra equals bliss.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
