I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
