yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
