addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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