Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
