Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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