KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
