bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Ladies don't puke and tell
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
