we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
