its not stalking. its research.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
