I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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