i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
